(Before I begin, I am dedicating this post to one of my readers: Kristin Shope. She is a faithful reader and friend, who would probably prefer that I post something every day as I think she checks my blog that often. :) Thanks for your prayers and support Kristin!)
When I was a kid, it was a really big deal when you went from being 9 years old to 10 years old. You were no longer single digits, you were double digits!! I know, it sounds like I had a boring childhood, but it was really a milestone for me to go from 9-10. I wonder if I'll make it to triple digits??
Ok, so I don't really sit and think about turning 100. I am excited to say that we are in the single digits of our countdown to meeting the girls and hopefully taking them home. Note the word "hopefully".
Now on to what's really going on in my head and heart.
A big mix of everything, all jumbled together. Granted, I am hormonal and tired but in the middle of all those feelings are others that I knew would come to the surface at some point or another.
I am really, really missing Molly.
I am really scared to have these babies and find out something is horribly wrong. (And while I'm at it, please don't tell me that everything is going to be fine. I don't know that and neither does anyone else, except for God of course. I have learned that just because I've lost two babies doesn't mean I deserve to have these two.)
I am feeling sad that I won't be the first to hold them in my arms.
I am angry that I have to wait an hour to be stitched up, or possibly more, before they can be in our room with us. Haven't we waited long enough?
I am ready to meet them and yet not at the same time.
And on some lighter notes...
I am excited that we have made it this far and have had such a great pregnancy!
I am so grateful that they are still kicking me and moving around, letting me know that they are content.
I am thrilled and humbled beyond words that God would give us two precious daughters to take care of.
I love Piper and I love Lily.
The latest update for me and the girls hasn't changed much at all. I did see my doctor last week and had another non-stress test, which I actually look forward to. Everything is on track and looking good.
When I saw my doctor last week I mentioned to him about this new pain I've been experiencing. The bottom line is that the weight of the girls and my uterus, is placing such pressure on my ligaments and joints that at times I experience a painful, pinching sensation in my legs that calls for immediate change in position.
I was at PetsMart the other day to stock up on dog food when I had this happen. I was walking towards the checkout line when it struck me in the left leg. I had to stop in the middle of the main aisle and twist and turn my leg around until it quit hurting, probably one of the longest it has hurt like that. One of the managers walked up to me and asked if I needed help with anything or if I was ok. I could tell he was a little nervous with a way pregnant lady in the aisle not looking at anything but instead with a pained look on her face. I told him I was fine and that it was just part of pregnancy. Thankfully he didn't call 911. I just wanted the dog food and then wanted to get to Panera across the street for my own chow.
So that is the latest. One week from tomorrow, Monday, we will be meeting our babies for the first time. We are thrilled, nervous, excited, anxious, and scared all at the same time. It will be quite the celebration at the hospital when they arrive and we are hopeful and prayerful that everything will be fine and that we will get to take them home with us when we go home.
Thank you for all of those prayers. We still need them. We will definitely update the blog again before next Monday and will also post pics once the girls are here.
I will also be making it my goal for the next 7 days to come up with one thing each day that I am thankful for about being pregnant. An excellent suggestion by my handsome hubby!
Today I said I was thankful for: Feeling them kick and move around, especially when I eat or drink something sweet. They really like ice cream! :)