It is with such heavy hearts that I write these words. We found out earlier today that our baby has gone on to Heaven, sometime a few weeks ago. Our baby is gone. Our baby is gone. Gone. We won't be bringing home a little one from the hospital in October. We won't be celebrating Thanksgiving by passing around a cooing infant. Christmas will be disappointing, yet again. Our sweet nursery will continue to remain empty and our arms ache yet again to hold and comfort our babies. Molly's doorway will mean more to us as we mourn another baby.
We go back for another ultrasound at 3 today to confirm that our baby really is gone. After that we are faced with such decisions as to do a D&C or to go through an induced labor and deliver our baby as we did Molly. Pray for us as we sort through the pros and cons and make a decision we don't want to make.
There will be tests run and things done to determine the cause of death as well as the gender of our precious one. We will name our baby and mourn him or her as we mourn Molly. Pray that we will be able to see our baby and mourn him or her for a few moments in our care.
"With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall." Psalm 18:29
Psalm 23.. especially verse 4 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
Psalm 27:13-14 "I am STILL confident of this: I WILL see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. [We WILL] Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
And so we wait. We wait yet again for the Lord to reveal His plan and goodness to us in the land of the living and in the valley of the shadow of death. Our sweet Molly has ushered her baby brother or sister into the presence of the Almighty God. I am so glad they are together and so grieved that we have been given this cup, yet again.
Pray for us.