Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Micah William Mutz

Psalm 139 proclaims "I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Our son, Micah William Mutz, is no exception. His tiny body is fearfully and wonderfully made and loved by us and our Mighty God. We grieve his passing and eagerly look forward to the day when we can hold both our babies in our arms and never have to let them go.

We arrived at the hospital around 10 p.m. last night, May 12th. Sometime after 11 my doctor put some medicine in my cervix to help dilate and get things moving along. About an hour later I felt some back labor begin. After going to the bathroom and brushing my teeth, I was going to call my nurse because the pain was getting pretty hard to bear when my water broke.

Things escalated pretty fast and our baby was born at 1:56 a.m. May 13th. Just 11 months after his big sister came into the world. Because I was bleeding a lot (I had lost around 64 oz. of blood), Dr. Austin told me I had to go in for the D&C. The placenta did not want to come out so they had to put me in under and get it out fast. Before I went under Dr. Austin told me that he was going to try and and get the placenta out, but there was a slight possibility that he would have to do a hysterectomy. I was pretty scared, but just prayed as they prepped me, over and over for God to not ask me to give that up as well. He answered my prayers and the procedure was fast and successful, with my uterus still intact.

I've lost a significant amount of blood and my blood pressure has been down most of the early morning hours. Because of that, they want to keep me here and watch me over night. There's a possibility that, after taking my blood, I might be able to go home tonite, but we're just not sure yet.

It's been really scary and not something I want to go through ever again. In some ways, delivering Molly was easier because I had no fears and I didn't know she was going to die. This baby was difficult and I grieved off and on during the entire process. And I still am. I would have to say it was the scariest moment of my life. I was so afraid.

A praise or two: We have gotten to hold and see our baby. We've taken some pictures since Heather could not be here, and we plan on putting the little blue hat on and snuggling him up before letting him go to the mortuary. Another praise is that things did go fast. We had been praying all day yesterday that things would move quickly and with minimal pain. They did move quickly but not without pain.

Anyway, thank you for praying for us. Please continue to as we work to get out of here and rest at home where it's comfortable. Pray that my blood pressure gets to where it should be and that we can go home tonite. And of course, pray for our hearts as we grieve our precious baby boy.

20 comments:

Kim Jones said...

What a wonderful name. I love it. So glad you are okay after everything that happened in the hospital and hope you get to go home soon. Praying always for you.

Tracey said...

You are being prayed for constantly - may God's love envelop you.

Marissa said...

Praying for you and grieving with you. I'm thankful you have the scary moments behind you and pray that you will feel God's love and peace as you move forward in grief.

Love,
Marissa Henley

Emily B said...

Someday I'd love to hear the story behind the name you chose.
Praising God that you came through the delivery and D&C intact. I can't even imagine how scary that must have been. Praying comfort and peace for your heart, and Jake's too. And may those blood cells multiply quickly so your body will feel better!

Julie said...

Praying. My heart is heavy for you.

Shawna said...

I am so sorry it was such a scary time for you!! I'm praising God that the D&C went well.

Praying and crying with you!

Shawna

mbl said...

Praying for you and your family.

Pam said...

Continuing to pray.

Renee Earley said...

I love your sweet sons name, Micha William Mutz...now he is with his Father in Heaven and with his sweet Sissy Molly.

I am praying for you both in so many ways and will continue to pray for you.

In God's Almighty Love,
Renee

nicole Kinzler said...

I love the name my sweet becca. I will be praying that you can go home tonite. Love you and your precious family.

We will continue to pray for your hearts.

Nicole

Jessica said...

What a beautiful name!! Praising God for the quick delivery & successful D&C! Praying for a speedy recovery, rest and your grieving process...

Much love,
Jessica

fullofboys said...

Thank you for sharing. I have been reading yours and your mom's blogs and I must say that it is evident that God's peace is there...in the midst of your grief. I love the name! Micah has a wonderful legacy in Molly as she welcomed him with open arms into Heaven. Praying that you feel God's arms wrap around you in the darkest hours as well as their tender moments of joy as you celebrate and mourn Micah.

Laura said...

Oh sweet mama...I have been praying for you. Precious Micah...each of you are a treasure. I am so sorry you are having to say goodbye again.

Sending love,
Laura

Jenni said...

jacob and becca, todd and i are praying for you, as is our entire extended family here in indianapolis. i think micah is a beautiful name for your precious son.

we will keep praying.

todd and jenni hufford

thepipers said...

Sweet, sweet Micah... Your big sister will show you the way to the Savior's lap.

Cindy said...

I will not stop praying for you as you mourn the loss of your precious children, Molly and Micah. So very sorry. Grateful for how God has answered our prayers as you mentioned, and that you didn't have to have the hysterectomy. (so scary)

Praying for your hearts and grieving with you ~ Cindy M

Nan said...

I don't know you... a family member who works for Family Life sent me a prayer request and a link. Please know that you are being prayed for in this time of suffering and loss.

Anonymous said...

Oh,I am praying for you and Jake so often. My heart just breaks for you two. I think Micah William is such a proud, strong name. Praying for many blessings to come your way soon,
Ellie

davesonya said...

even strangers pray at times like this....may your hearts rest in the sorrow, & rest on the only true comfort.
your transparency in your pain is admirable.
fall on Jesus, sister.
~

kerryhasenbalg said...

Rebecca and Jacob,

I am so sorry for your pain and sadness! I am just so sad about the way the brokenness of this world is affecting you in this season of your young life! You truly are honoring God and your children who are with God by the way you are walking through these tremendously difficult experiences. May 13th is also the day that Maria Chapman came into this world and it also marks the first birthday that she is also with Jesus. There are so very many children of the saints who with Him who is perfect love and comfort. May the Son Reign down on you as you heal! I will be praying for you continually. Kerry Hasenbalg