Psalm 139 proclaims "I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Our son, Micah William Mutz, is no exception. His tiny body is fearfully and wonderfully made and loved by us and our Mighty God. We grieve his passing and eagerly look forward to the day when we can hold both our babies in our arms and never have to let them go.
We arrived at the hospital around 10 p.m. last night, May 12th. Sometime after 11 my doctor put some medicine in my cervix to help dilate and get things moving along. About an hour later I felt some back labor begin. After going to the bathroom and brushing my teeth, I was going to call my nurse because the pain was getting pretty hard to bear when my water broke.
Things escalated pretty fast and our baby was born at 1:56 a.m. May 13th. Just 11 months after his big sister came into the world. Because I was bleeding a lot (I had lost around 64 oz. of blood), Dr. Austin told me I had to go in for the D&C. The placenta did not want to come out so they had to put me in under and get it out fast. Before I went under Dr. Austin told me that he was going to try and and get the placenta out, but there was a slight possibility that he would have to do a hysterectomy. I was pretty scared, but just prayed as they prepped me, over and over for God to not ask me to give that up as well. He answered my prayers and the procedure was fast and successful, with my uterus still intact.
I've lost a significant amount of blood and my blood pressure has been down most of the early morning hours. Because of that, they want to keep me here and watch me over night. There's a possibility that, after taking my blood, I might be able to go home tonite, but we're just not sure yet.
It's been really scary and not something I want to go through ever again. In some ways, delivering Molly was easier because I had no fears and I didn't know she was going to die. This baby was difficult and I grieved off and on during the entire process. And I still am. I would have to say it was the scariest moment of my life. I was so afraid.
A praise or two: We have gotten to hold and see our baby. We've taken some pictures since Heather could not be here, and we plan on putting the little blue hat on and snuggling him up before letting him go to the mortuary. Another praise is that things did go fast. We had been praying all day yesterday that things would move quickly and with minimal pain. They did move quickly but not without pain.
Anyway, thank you for praying for us. Please continue to as we work to get out of here and rest at home where it's comfortable. Pray that my blood pressure gets to where it should be and that we can go home tonite. And of course, pray for our hearts as we grieve our precious baby boy.