He Provides

Today the Lord provided for me in a very unique way. I would have never asked for this sort of provision, but am thankful for how God is using my pain to give Him glory.

I got a call from a friend’s husband who asked me to come to the hospital to be with his wife. They had just miscarried their baby. I was one of few friends who were called. I dropped what I was doing and drove to the hospital to be with them, thankful that I had nothing going on. Hugging her husband as I entered the room I could tell that there were tears springing into his eyes. I sat with my friend as we talked and shared hearts. We had been pregnant together for our first pregnancies. Now we were sharing the pain of losing babies we barely knew, but had prayed for and dreamed over.

I took her home, her hands holding a soft blond teddy bear, a gift from the hospital. She mentioned as we left that she had now done both: left with a baby and left without a baby. I knew the pain she felt. It was just 2 months before that I was in her same place, clutching a bear and feeling the pain of an empty womb.

I see this as an open door from the Lord. A provision for me in my current state of feeling a deep sense of loss and no purpose to call my own. I would never ask to share this unique heartache and pain with a close friend, but am incredibly humbled and honored to have been called to the front of the battlefield. I have offered to help her with her son and the work she has to complete that seems overwhelming. I told her that I had nothing pushing me forward and that I would love to help her. Thankfully she accepted my offer gladly and I start working with her next Wednesday.

I see this as an opportunity to share pain, talk openly and honestly, be authentic, and share tears mixed with laughter. I pray that I am encouraging and helpful, a cool drink of water in a very dry time.

So I give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. He has given me a purpose in my pain.

Thank you, Jesus.

Comments

Emily said…
Aren't you glad that in God's economy, nothing is wasted? How glad I am that you and your friend can be a support for each other. I hope the coming weeks are sweet times for the two of you, and that lots of healing occurs.
Christy said…
praise god! may He bring healing to you both through each other!
Linds said…
What a neat opportunity. I am certain that He will use you (and is currently using you) in mightier ways than you can imagine.
K.Leipprandt said…
I am so thankful the Lord brought you into this woman's life and that you can share your hearts with one another.
mhutsell said…
I know when I went through some very real pain in my early marriage I was brought the verses in 2 Corinthians that talk about the God of all comfort and how we comfort others with the comfort we ourselves have received. And while, as you said, we would NEVER choose to know this comfort if we could have been spared the pain...there is an abiding sense of peace and joy knowing that because we have felt that pain...we can be used by God. How powerful. And how sad that some never know that power because their suffering causes them to shut down. Praise be to God that you are a willing comforter!Melissa
Lori said…
What a blessing your book has been! Thank you for allowing God to minister to others through your sorrow.
Leslie Alexander said…
Rebecca,

Your book, your blog and your faith have been an encouragement to me. I finished the book in just about two days - it was all too familiar to me. Fifty days ago, Sunday May 24th, our second daughter, Lindsay Claire, was born and appeared perfectly healthy. We enjoyed 26 precious, "normal" hours with her, and then she stopped breathing on the evening of May 25th. God gave us two more precious days with her in the NICU, and then we had to make the same decision you and your husband did for Molly Ann. We know Lindsay is whole and healed in Heaven with Christ (and maybe she has met Molly Ann too), but it is still so hard. Thanks for sharing your daughter's life with so many and for allowing the Lord to use you in the lives of others!

Leslie Alexander
Pearland, TX
lalexander76@yahoo.com
Shawna said…
God is good! I love how He brings purpose in each and every circumstance!! Praying for you often.
Laura said…
So thankful for small gifts in the midst of heartache....I know you will bring much comfort to your sweet friend. Praying Jesus meets you both in the place you are. I know He will.
Laura said…
Rebecca....you don't know me but I just finished your book and wanted to say hi and thank you! I was glad to see that you had a blog...it was neat to look you up and hear more from you. I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet Micah. My heart aches for you.

Reading through your book I felt like I was grieving with you, and aching for you.

Our first baby (Mya Anne) was born August 16th, 2007 and lived 30 short hours. Reading through your book brought me back....we too went through the torturous decision of removing life support. We had 10 hours with Mya without the tubes before she breathed her last breath. If you want to read more about her story, here is the blog post I wrote about it right after she died: http://dlcollins.blogspot.com/2007/08/our-princess-is-with-jesus.html

Reading through your book brought me to tears over & over again, but I think it was good for me. I can totally relate to the "numb" feeling you were talking about...it's all to real and I don't like it. By the grace of God we now have a healthy 11 month old baby boy....but because we got pregnant so quickly after Mya died, I think there is part of me that put up some walls to the grieving...so reading your book and being faced with those memories in such a real way again was healthy I think. It took me 3 sittings to get through the "Coronation Day" chapter. I sobbed through the whole thing.

If you feel like writing back, my email address is danandlauracollins@gmail.com

Thinking of you and praying for you. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. It must have been difficult re-living those heartbreaking moments over again when you wrote your book. I am now passing it along to a friend who's 3-week baby girl (Elayna) just died from Meningitis.

Love your sister in Christ and in grief (and as the mother of Mya's friend in Heaven!),

Laura
Rebecca said…
Wow. What an amazing opportunity to use your pain for His glory ~ to suffer with those who are suffering. It's just another way of continuing Molly & Micah's legacy.

Thank you for writing A Symphony in the Dark. I read it from cover to cover last Saturday, sobbing nearly the entire way through. It was just what I needed in this season of my grief.
Jaimie said…
Rebecca,
I just read your book last night - yes, one night - I couldn't put it down. It is such a beautifully written book (as well as beautiful pictures and script) and has some of the best Scriptures and quotes from heroes of mine (Piper and Spurgeon). It took me back to that raw pain I experienced 6 years ago after losing my first daughter from Trisomy 18. I haven't cried like that in a long time as I realized that the hole in my heart will always be there, though now is a bit smaller.
I am the director of the Houston chapter of a Christian infant loss support group, M.E.N.D. (Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death, www.mend.org). My mom just ordered your book when it was advertised along with Jerry Sittser's on a radio program, since she knows I am always looking for applicable books to give away to newly grieving families. However, I am extremely picky since so many "loss" books don't show the hope of Christ so many families need. Yours is a wonderful exception and an awesome example of showing God's total sovereignty and perfect plan and also your unwavering faith and absolute dependence on Him. I plan on ordering many more.
Please know that you will be a blessing to many families in Houston who receive your book.
Jaimie Crump
Rebecca, your heart, as you continue on this journey of heartache, has been a drink of cool water to me. My husband and I recently lost our firsborn son when I was 41 weeks pregnant. There are so many times I have asked God to let this cup pass...but here we are. And I praise Him that there are so many others who are sharing this cup...there is great comradery in suffering, and I have been refreshed by your dependence on our good, all-knowing, purposeful God. Thank you for sharing your heart.

With Love,
Courtney
I found your blog through Molly Piper's. It's amazing to read your story and see how God is continually redeeming your loss. Thanks for sharing your heart so honestly.
MKHeinz said…
Thank you so much for your post. It is incredible to me how God uses our circumstances, the good and the bad, to bless the hearts and lives of those around us.

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