Sunday, March 22, 2009

A lesson in my sorrow

Jake and I help out each Sunday with a grief support group put on by our church. We get so much out of it that it feels more for us than for others. Being able to do something with our grief is so healing, so encouraging that we'll probably keep doing it until they ask us to stop.

Today we watched a video by Rob Bell, a pastor in Michigan, about death and grief. It was so moving and gave me a new realization in my grief that I hadn't entertained before. He talked about his own grief, the passing of a close friend, and in that he referred back to the bible and how Jesus felt such grief and pain at the passing of his friend, Lazarus, that he wept. And it occurred to me that while we were sitting on that couch in Molly's room as her body fought for life, that Jesus was right there with us, weeping. I had no doubt that He was there with us and that He was gently holding us and Molly that entire week, even the day she died. But it just never occurred to me that He wept WITH us. When Jesus walked our earth, he felt what each of us feels. Reminding myself that He weeps when I weep and rejoices when I rejoice, was powerful. I am so thankful that we are not alone to go through the sorrows of this life, that we have someone who will weep with us, even when feel completely.

Another thing that Rob Bell shared was this Jewish custom called "Sitting Shiva". It's when you've lost someone and your loved ones come and sit with you as you grieve. They'll talk if you want to talk, listen if you want to be heard, or just be still. So many friends have done that with us over the months since Molly died. And even better, so has Jesus. He is sitting shiva with me now as I grieve our sweet daughter. I am not forgotten, but held tightly in his arms.

Thank you, Jesus, for being the lover of my soul. Thank you for weeping with me and being ever so close to my broken heart.

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