Friday, May 14, 2010

This time last year

I realized in the wee hours of the morning a few days ago that we were on the eve of Micah's birthday. Yesterday, one year ago, we held in our hands the precious body of our baby. He had fallen asleep in my womb at just 14 weeks and when we finally were able to hold him we were in awe at how perfectly formed he was.

We buried him just a few feet from his sister, Molly. Losing him just 11 short months after Molly was incredibly difficult and in some ways harder for me to deal with than her death was. I experienced intense anger and asked many questions of our God as to the purpose of his life and then death, especially so soon after losing Molly. I felt it like a slap in the face, so personal.

We won't be celebrating his birthday like we will be for Molly in just one month. There won't be a cake or flowers or anything like that. I have just quietly remembered him in my heart and mind as I went about the day. We sent some balloons with hugs and kisses later in the evening as we went on a short walk.

I look at our two precious little girls and see God's hand in all circumstances. We did not deserve Piper and Lily because of the two babies we had lost before. Micah's death doesn't make sense now that we have the twins. I do see that had we continued the pregnancy with Micah, we would not be enjoying Piper and Lily now. We cannot know what God has in store when he allows certain things in our life. We just cannot. For that, I do praise Him for being in control of everything and not allowing me to take control instead. It would all be a mess if I did. :)

This post doesn't make a ton of sense, but I just wanted to share my thoughts and also remember our babies, Molly and Micah. In less than a month we'll be celebrating Molly's second birthday. Amazing how time flies and yet goes so slowly all at the same time.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Counselors for Nashville

In light of the devastation we have all seen in Nashville, I want to share what my brother Samuel is doing for the people of Nashville affected by the recent flood. He has put together counselors around the city who are giving their time to flood victims who want to work through the grief and devastation they are going through.

Please spread the word about this. You can visit his website here: www.counselorsfornashville.com
Anyone who would like to donate their time to those in need of counseling can contact Samuel through the website and anyone in need of counseling can also get in touch that way. I am sure a lot of my readers know someone in Nashville who might want to utilize these counselors.

While there is an obviously huge physical loss for these people, there is also an emotional loss that cannot be ignored. People have lost their homes, belongings, valuables, things that hold memories from their past, all of which carry an emotional tie. This is incredibly devastating on all levels and these counselors are giving their time to help with the emotional part which is greatly needed.

Samuel was just on a radio show this morning to talk about what he's doing for the city and you can listen to that interview here: CounselorsForNashville on 99.7 WTN.mp3

I am so proud of you, Samuel. You've seen a huge need and done something beautiful in response. I pray that many are helped and blessed as a result of this.