Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Update, update, update!

I've had several people inquire as to how the book is coming along, how can they pray, etc. And I've also had people ask me how I like working at the bakery! So.. in light of those two questions, here is an update on me.

First of all, I no longer work at the bakery. Due to the state of the economy, I, along with several others, were let go from the bakery. I still love the bakery and the friends that I made there. And it really came at a perfect time with the book just starting and having to work so much on it. Because of the demands of writing and editing, I am not working at this point and don't intend to until things let up in the book department.

The book is going well. Mom and I now have the manuscript and have been working on editing it down so that we have the good stuff and nothing that won't glorify God and honor Molly's life. We are working long and hard days to get the editing part done so that the next step can be started. Design will start soon also and before we know it, it'll be heading to the printer.

To give you an idea of how the book will be, it'll be separated into days rather than chapters. Each day will tell the story of that particular day through emails and such that Mom has put together in a story format. After that part will be a piece from me sort of like a journal entry. I share about that day and how Jake and I felt and what emotions we were going through, etc. After my piece is a third and final piece that is also from Mom and it is a reflection piece that talks about something we learned that day, like the power of a family, etc. Then the next day will be the same format.

The book will be out sometime in June. It will be paperback and available at www.familylife.com. I will definitely post when it's in print and how people can get a copy.

We are so proud of the book and how it has taken shape over the weeks. It is such a privilege to share about Molly's mighty little life and the powerful effect it had on us and so many others. It is a difficult task and something that has taken more of an emotional toll on me than I expected. I have pretty much re-entered that week with Molly and one of the things that makes it so hard this time around is that I don't have her with me to soften the blows of death.

Thank you so much for praying for me and my mom as we work on this book. It is such a great project that we are learning so much from and hope that others who read it will benefit as well.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

A lesson in my sorrow

Jake and I help out each Sunday with a grief support group put on by our church. We get so much out of it that it feels more for us than for others. Being able to do something with our grief is so healing, so encouraging that we'll probably keep doing it until they ask us to stop.

Today we watched a video by Rob Bell, a pastor in Michigan, about death and grief. It was so moving and gave me a new realization in my grief that I hadn't entertained before. He talked about his own grief, the passing of a close friend, and in that he referred back to the bible and how Jesus felt such grief and pain at the passing of his friend, Lazarus, that he wept. And it occurred to me that while we were sitting on that couch in Molly's room as her body fought for life, that Jesus was right there with us, weeping. I had no doubt that He was there with us and that He was gently holding us and Molly that entire week, even the day she died. But it just never occurred to me that He wept WITH us. When Jesus walked our earth, he felt what each of us feels. Reminding myself that He weeps when I weep and rejoices when I rejoice, was powerful. I am so thankful that we are not alone to go through the sorrows of this life, that we have someone who will weep with us, even when feel completely.

Another thing that Rob Bell shared was this Jewish custom called "Sitting Shiva". It's when you've lost someone and your loved ones come and sit with you as you grieve. They'll talk if you want to talk, listen if you want to be heard, or just be still. So many friends have done that with us over the months since Molly died. And even better, so has Jesus. He is sitting shiva with me now as I grieve our sweet daughter. I am not forgotten, but held tightly in his arms.

Thank you, Jesus, for being the lover of my soul. Thank you for weeping with me and being ever so close to my broken heart.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Longing for Heaven's glory

There's a great song that has been playing recently on the radio by Mercy Me called "Finally Home". It expresses the hearts' desire so eloquently and beautifully. Whenever I hear it I change a few words to fit my heart and fill my eyes with tears of longing. Heaven will be far better than any song we can sing on earth, but until then we sing melodies and hymns that fill our hearts with love for the savior, and in most cases, love for our loved ones there before us.

Even if you've heard the song before, I encourage you to take a minute to read the lyrics and ponder their meaning. I've changed a few of the words, the writer sings about seeing his dad in Heaven while I sing about being with our daughter. Oh and also, if you want to watch the music video (far better than just reading the lyrics), click here. Be sure and have your kleenex nearby.

Finally Home
by Mercy Me

I’m gonna wrap my arms around my Molly's neck
And tell her that I’ve missed her.
And tell her all about the mom that I became
And hope that it pleased her

There’s so much I want to say
There’s so much I want you to know

When I finally make it home
When I finally make it home

Then I’ll gaze upon the throne of the King
Frozen in my steps
And all the questions that I swore I would ask
Words just won’t come yet

So amazed at what I’ve seen
So much more than this old mind can hold


And the sweetest sound my ears have yet to hear
Voices of the angels